My Soul Trembles Forward

I wrote this post in the late evening hours, after working on this weeks lessons of "When Wallflowers Dance" And this morning as I read over it I wonder if I should even post it. It sounds as if I am so depressed, in such despair, but I am not. So I almost scratched it--then I realized something. I picked out a photo for my blog a couple days ago. The fog in the valley really intrigued me, I was not sure why. Then after reading what I wrote last night it is becoming a little more clear to me why I chose that photo. Everyone's valley is different and ever changing.


It is strange, this valley that I now walk. It is strange that I now walk, that I no longer stand still in utter fear and despair, that I step forward one trembling step at a time.

Above me and all around me I see the mountains that I long to roam and climb. I hope for the highest peaks, wish for the breathtaking views.
But I am in the valley now, and it must be passed. It is not without beauty. I find rest from time to time, sunlight peering through the shadows of the valley-fog to remind me that it still exists.I am afraid to pass through this valley. I don't know what waits for me along the way, and I like to operate with a plan in hand. I fear the challenge of the next mountain I may reach, I know I am not in shape—physically and spiritually. But afraid or not, I find myself walking. Harder than any climb I have ever attempted, the steps I take here are tremulous, uncertain. I am reminded that my expectation is from Him, that He is my Inheritance, my Provider. I feel shame in questioning whether that Inheritance and Provision is enough for me.I don't know.

I will never know if I do not keep moving forward.

My way is not clear before me. Perhaps it will not be ever again. I have no map in plan, no itinerary.I wonder if perhaps the strongest faith is not in the daredevil leap from a mountain's ridge, but in the tiny steps of a trembling soul toward the heart of a God who sent His own Son to die.

And death couldn't hold Him.

"I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them."~Isaiah 42:16